Role reversal isn't always comfortable, especially for a role that has taken on a life-saving significance. I've been my own caregiver ever since day one and I found they were cutting on my genitals*. Obviously, as well as I could then think, I could tell these people didn't care about me, so I vowed to do it myself as best I could. Then I discovered I had 4 brothers, and they weren't in much better shape, so I did the only thing I could, I took care of them, too. Then I went on to taking care of friends' kids, and even was a single foster parent of 2 teen-aged boys.
So, it is with much gratitude and virtual disbelief, that I find my life partner of nearly 17 years taking such good care of me. It's hard letting go, but Marilyn has been ultimately patient with me and very helpful.
I did get my stem cells last week, and now it's a waiting game, waiting the 100 days until I can go home, but also watching for any symptoms and addressing them quickly. None so far, but the preventative medicine has made me feel a little tired.
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*A new report has just been printed in the British Journal of Urology, Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis that concludes, "Circumcision ablates the most sensitive parts of the penis." Besides, it just plain hurts like torture!
A Second Cancer
11 months ago
3 comments:
Dear Gary, Dear Marilyn,
Each time I read your blog I am struck by the amazing sensitivity with which you write, Gary, and the courage and caring that comes through in every word.
I'm doing some work with support groups right now, and it seems true for lots and lots of people who are natural supporters of others that it's terribly hard to trust to someone else. But it is a great gift, that trust. I know that caring for someone in their time of need can deepen a relationship and somehow ground the caretaker in ritual and rhythm and purpose -- and all these elements make the stress possible to get through, and even a richly rewarding experience, despite its being horrific and never would I wish it on anyone.
Anyway, I just thought I'd throw in my two cents and say how very much I honor you both. Much love, Mattie Wheeler
100 days? Wow.
Does the hospital allow your relatives to bring in store-bought food, sealed from the manufacturer (no deli items)? This could lower your reliance on 'hospital food'.
I only hope your gums won't be sore for long. When it happens, reach for the popsicles, cottage cheese, pudding, etc.
Personally, I was impressed with the care in the transplant program where I was. Nurses are special people.
Saturndude,
I think because I'm doing a "mini" transplant, I don't have to be hospitalized except for the night I got my donor stem cells. Since the cells had to be flown to Seattle via courier, they didn't come in until late, and I got them about 10PM. Also, with a mini I might not have much trouble with sore gums, with any luck.
That's another thing that I really appreciate from my caregiver, the great tasting meals Marilyn cooks for me!
It's always great to hear about someone who had a successful transplant! I'd forgotten that you'd been through it. The nurses here are really special, too.
Gary
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